Speakin' Your Mind...

Dear Crazee Juls,

How do you speak your mind without coming across as a b***h?
-Serenity

Dear Serenity,

Growing up, most of us often heard, "If you don't have something nice to say....don't say anything at all..." While, most of the time, I try to live by that philosophy even in my adult life, it's not very realistic is it??

We have opinions, we feel the need to be able to voice them.
And sometimes, they're just not very nice.

Here's when the trouble begins. People may get (gasp) offended by what we say. So, how do we speak our minds, without sounding like a raging lunatic or worst yet-- a bee-otch? Here's some help:

1. Body language-when speaking your "mind" hands on the hip, a stern face, or excessive hand gestures should be avoided. Try to keep your voice calm & cool...and even a smile on your face.

2. Stay on topic--speak about what it is that you really feel about the situation and avoid putting down people, even if their behavior is what you have a problem with.. Example. Let's say, you have a friend who is making a bad decision. When talking to her about it.... instead of saying, "Lucy, you're such an idiot, I can't believe you'd do that..!" Doesn't this sound so much better? "Lucy, you have so much potential. It hurts me to see you make such poor decisions, what can I do to help?" Deliver this with a smile on your face & follow with a hug...and who could get mad?????

What? What's that you say? This is ridiculous? You're not capable of being that nice all of the time? Well-- neither am I!

So, most of the time, I try to be nice...but I have my moments. Actually most people tell me that they never have to wonder what I'm thinking because I am that honest and up front. Do I get accused of the being the Big "B" ....yep. Often. But, what I've learned in life is that we do the best we can. We should feel like we can speak our mind, without the whole world against us. ...No one wants to be everyone's door mat of forever happiness & sweetness... So, when moments arise that we feel we should speak our mind--we should take a moment to gather our thoughts...and let her fly....

In this life, there are going to be people who like us...and then people who don't like us so much...no matter what we do. While we don't want to be a bee-otch 24/7...I do believe it's perfectly acceptable to have a few not so nice...speaking our mind moments....

Good luck,

Crazee Juls